Health Adventures

I am working the puzzle piece of diet that has been in front of me for many years! That lovely saying of not seeing what’s right in front of you the whole time…! True here! The last 2 years I have been a bit hyper-focused on my ‘chronic fatigue’ issues in particular. Asking God for answers and help! A little help please! Thank you! <3

And while doing my end of the physical ‘now’ work… God provides the answers via my intuition, the light-bulb moments, direct-knowing, and following the crumb-trail; thus, over-time… receiving all the pieces of the puzzle. Now, I put them together; or definitely get started putting them together! Fun! I love puzzles and apparently have signed up for this kind of activity during this particular incarnate! LOL!

There is the menopause factor (that is current – and on-going) but there are also the issues that have built and compiled over many years (if not my entire life thus far). It has taken me a hot-minute to work out some ‘math’ with myself and put the correlations together. I am still learning, discovering and figuring out how to operate this ship, to clear it of gunk, and repair it; and that’s just on the surface! Because we are multi-layered and multidimensional beings… this is, I am, an on-going ‘project’! This particular journaling is a little rambling of my current understanding of a few things I got goin’ on. I am talking about my sensitivities to nickel, the H. Pylori factor (within myself and amongst the family dynamic); some of my digestive issues, and most definitely – the domino effect that is (and has been) going on throughout my physical vessel.

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Around the year 2000, aka Y2K, I had a health-crisis that truly started me on my initiation-path towards spiritual awakening. The following decade would be loads of fun! NOT! (LOL!) Those of us that are on our spiritual ascension paths know all too well… awakening is a tough road but the most beautiful and rewarding road you can and will ever take! Staying on it is not for the weak. You have to be the vigilante (using this term loosely) of and for your Self, your True Self! Lots of things, people, places… will try to derail you. You have to remain strong and you have to be diligent with your souls desire to continue! This includes the blocks and derailing actions brought to you by You! We get in our own way… all the time! Maybe this is just a Me thing, but I really know that it’s not.

Everyone on planet right now has an issue or two where they can hinder their own progress. I am so thankful that I know, recognize, and have realizations of this about my own Self. But, yes, the action steps in resolving the ‘issues’ takes some energy (meaning: I am exhausted, tired) … I do have moments where I can fail myself on this; or it appears as if it’s a ‘fail’. But does it stop me from working on it/them? Heck no! Energy is spherical, circular, always in motion… a propelling motion. It’s the dead-energy that is stagnant that throws you a road-block! That is the stuff that has got to go! Bye-bye dead energies, dead light, miasmas… I will continually be working and processing you until I don’t! All that this is meaning – is that things will keep coming back around for you. They definitely come-back-around for me! It’s seeing it (hopefully) that second time and recognizing that there needs some tendin’ to this!

I am getting to the point where I can tend to this stuff a little better, quicker, with more resolve. I might shoo it off for the first-round; but when ‘it’ comes back again – I am already tired of it! LOL! So, I find myself hunkering-down and working to get to the bottom of ‘it’. These are mostly issues of worthiness, self-doubt and the like. I find that a lot of these, with me, are many generations deep, many lifetimes, and have tentacles everywhere! Residue can be the problem, some things just seem to stick-around!

Many of us know of our own problems - with ‘this’ or an issue with ‘that’ – but it’s actually working towards the healing of these aspects is when you start to ‘win’ (for a lack of a better word). Awareness is step one, getting the ball rolling with wanting to ‘fix’, heal, repair it is step two. Staying in the consciousness mind-set/heart-path of flow and allowing is part of all (other) steps! Our bodies are super-intelligent, Divine-consciousness ‘machines’; our ego/thinking-brain tends to block it/our-Selves from right-direction sometimes. Connecting with our true ‘brain’, the heart, is what leads the way towards the peace so many on this planet are desperately searching for. I feel that this is one of the big-kahunas for many… re-connecting their disconnected heart. It’s a doozie - and it is SO worth it!

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My truly-connected, inner-Self, healing band-wagon began back at that Y2K timeframe; keeping things in flow and allowance didn’t really start making a home with me though until, interestingly enough, 2007 when my mother passed. Things were really locking-down and anchoring-in about 2012; when my father passed. The Divine ‘clock-work’ of the continued, fully awakened, and on hot-pursuit of my spiritual Soul/Heart path had ensued. There was no more brake pedal, just me looking in the rear view mirror – it was ‘go’ time! It was a decade of shedding 3D matrices, going down some pretty interesting rabbit-holes, learning deeper truths, seeing the façade; all while connecting with my heart and my soul; reigniting my relationship with my innate, intuition, higher consciousness. This, all simultaneously, while having a dark night or two, building strength with Self and God; and trying to ‘act’ what was considered somewhat normal to all those around me! This is that blip on ones timeline where they find themselves becoming secluded and want to reserve their energies; you can feel like you are going a bit crazy during these early stages/phases. It’s just best to sequester yourself away when you really feel and know you are working through some shit.

So, through that time, I was also in a perimenopausal state. I actually knew this about me – but I didn’t really understand this about me. Looking back on this now… I am actually kind-of glad it happened the way it did. This is because – if I was focused on all the things peri-and-menopause I think I would have been focusing on the ‘trees’ at that time and not the ‘forest’. Not having the facts about what my body was physically doing/going through was actually directing my attention to the awakening aspects. The connection to/with my heart-space. Wanting to connect with Source, God and the Universe. Naturally and innately tapping in to the core of Me, my Soul.

I have always questioned everything - but now, I was really… questioning… everything! All the weird stuff going on to/for/through me had me searching for deeper answers; not necessarily physical body answers, although that/those are what was triggering the deeper searching to begin with. So, I was receiving a few physical body answers along the way but not completely utilizing the info at the time. I got on the truth-seeker trail and felt like time was speeding up! A blessing? Yes. All things happen for a reason… yes! I was on a fast-track to getting myself up to speed with where my Soul was wanting and needing me to be!

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Coming back around to the health issues (that were there), I knew about them, was having testing reveal them to me, but I wasn’t actually comprehending their individual aspects which would mean – I wasn’t putting it all together collectively either. Like, seriously, what does this mean? I was also bopping around from doctor to doctor, looking for someone who even knew what they were doing, what was going on, or had a clue! Knowing what I know now – there weren’t any doctors that knew much about menopause (and the female stages, in general) to begin with! They were just as lost and confused as I was! It wasn’t just perimenopause stuff, there was digestive things going on as well; and I won’t even get side-tracked on the life-and-times of my thyroid (another very un-studied body part) – that is a whole ‘nuther side-ramble! But each doctor I saw had a different hyper-focus with me (and what they saw on a test). It’s interesting to, basically, go around to all these different docs and each one has something that pops-out at them and where/what they hone-in-on. Everything else on the test – falls away, disappears. All while you are knowing this is a complete body thing! I know this, because I am living it! It wasn’t just conventional docs, it was naturopaths as well. I did learn a lot, just from searching around for a doctor during this time (the learning within the learning!). It was a true glimpse of how the sick-care system (aka western medicine) keeps people on a hamster wheel.

This was a busy decade for me and my family. We were moving around a LOT, I had both parents leaving planet (within 5 years of each other); also had the in-law parents begin their decline and have their issues. The kids were active in school stuff, jobs were changing, entrepreneur activities were always swirling around… my ailments and on-the-hunt for answers kept me busy on the inside, emotionally and mentally! Busy on the exterior, busy on the interior! Was I exhausted? Yup! Very!

I wasn’t giving my Self the full attention it was asking of me. Thus, health crisis after health crisis! Self-inflicted injuries, pains, predicaments and instances! Internal, external! Stop the world, I wanna get off!! 

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I would bop back-and-forth from 3D to spiritual – like, getting a test done because: what is going on?! And then learning, experiencing and working the spiritual, energetic aspects. There is a learning curve here, and I was finding myself wanting to jump right into the deep-end! It’s the fire sign in me… Aries head wants to go, now! I have said this before: I like to get going on things, start-up, light the fire… but I have tendencies to tire out, get bored, and want to move onto the next big thing. This was no different during the early phase of awakening. Maybe because I was lost; wasn’t sure about what I was even doing or where I was going. I had the desire and the drive… but the directions: unclear and confusing at times!

It takes a bit of learning-healing-repairing and dedication to get this to flip; to see things differently, approach them differently – when I say differently, I mean: the right way; true, correct, spiritual, Divine, intended way. De-programming 3D can be quite the rabbit-hole all unto itself! So, taking the time and giving space for me to get any programmed ‘healthcare’ thoughts out (among other things); depending on the issue/situation, they varied. For me, it wasn’t labor-intensive and I was getting on the right-side-of-wrong fairly quickly. At least, I felt like I was!

I was never really deep into the health-care program and system anyway. We (my fam) were raised to fend-for-ourselves and to walk-it-off growing up. I was never into going and seeing a doc about a thing unless I felt like I was dying. So, it actually didn’t take me very long to see, feel, and know I was on the right path. I am not ‘immune’ at this point, though. I still need to see a doc about a thing every once and a while. But I definitely don’t jump to that as the first thing I do! Nope, it’s the very last! The back and forth (3D/spiritual – spiritual/3D) is kind-of what I still do to this day – but, I have flipped it. I used to do all the earthly-physical testing and wondering and seeking first and then ask God and higher Self for the help and assistance after. Now I do all the spiritual, emotional, energetic aspects first (to the best of my ability) and then… if things aren’t clearing or it’s beyond my actual abilities (such as a chiropractic adjustment) I seek help.

My here and now: finding that my current entrance into the realm of menopause quite the head-scratcher! Such a confusing time, space and place! Very little help, research, info, etc in this department. But, boy, am I happy to know that this is currently changing… live, right here, right now! Gen X to the rescue! Our generation demands answers and accountability… we were expected to be this way growing up and now we demand this of others, and still… ourselves. I, like millions of other women of my generation (and the women younger, perimenopause) are on the forefront of the wave of menopause change that is happening! Very exciting time! Our mothers/grandmothers lived a crappy menopausal existence with terrible health care and non-existent support. I thank God and the women warriors doing the heavy-lifting work(s) to/for this change (for the better)! Thank you! (p.s. October is menopause awareness month!)

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Besides the menopause journey, and all that entails, that will officially carry me out for the rest of my time here… there are a couple of things about my health that I have always known but am really getting them connected as I journey-on in my healing-work. Divine timing, over-all awareness, gathered info, and the actual desire of truly wanting to heal. When I say truly… I mean this at every layer! The timing seems pretty good – as even 10 years ago – some of this info was hard to find, or maybe didn’t exist. There is at least one good thing about the internet… researching for information is a whole lot quicker than digging through books and journals at the library!

This year has been a nickel learning time for me. A re-introducing and getting reacquainted with it kind-of year. It’s been operating in my background since I was a teenager; at least – that is my earliest memories of it affecting me. Many years ago I got tested for environmental/metals and allergies; I was having some issues that were driving me nuts! And since this wasn’t too long after we had moved into a ‘new’ house; I swore it was in the water!! And I wasn’t too far off. It was nickel that came back as my problem child. What I recall about that time was that I went on a deep dive about all that I could find about nickel. There wasn’t a ton of info but what I learned was that it’s in a lot of stuff! I immediately cut the make-up (because cobalt is related and it is in so many beauty products), I changed out house hold cleaning things, switching out ‘this’ and ‘that’… I was jumping on a detoxing bandwagon before it was the trendy thing to do. I was stripping things away from me one by one to see ‘who’s guilty’?! I would eventually have complied a list of culprits and also be discovering the worst offender: my bioidentical hormones! Why you little shit! You are supposed to be helping me, not hindering me!

What happened next was another handful of years of some crazy-town-activities that are such a blur and chaotic that the recall of specifics is most likely not going to happen (well, maybe in meditation! LOL!). I got so annoyed, frustrated and sick-of-it that I was taking my health-care into my own hands! Basically, became my own doctor; which is seriously, not a bad thing… at all. So many people poo-poo this because they themselves hand their bodies over to ‘science’, give their power away, and do what they’re told. ‘Self-medicating’ has gotten so vilified over the generations, and it was planned this way. It goes hand-in-hand with all the programming and enslavement practices that are running rampant on this planet. Taking your health away - this is exactly what ‘they’ want. Well, not everyone follows this program; and I certainly don’t! This helped me build a relationship with my innate/intuition and develop communication with my body. The re-connecting to earth, plants, energetics, and the various healing methods and modalities is where this took me.

The nickel aspect – is currently on-going. It’s interesting because it would be a toughie to actually fully liberate yourself from it – completely. Why? Because it’s everywhere! It’s earthly! Even the food we eat has nickel. Since I am not highly allergic or that it is invasively systemic – I can be eliminating certain things that are big problem-makers and be doing ok. When I touch things that are ‘nickel’; for example: an actual nickel… it can be instant; I wash my hands and I am good. Crises diverted. But when I keep repeatedly eating the almonds or another high-nickel nut (for example)… the inflammation just doesn’t really go down. I literally keep hitting myself with a sack-of-nickels! LOL! My system stays ‘puffed-up’, if you will. So, it’s this information that I am incorporating into my life as of now. It’s always been there, I have known this about my sensitivity to nickel (and the nickel family); but relating it to all the food on the planet? No, not until recently! The things I am eating seem to be always in-flux, and rightfully so. We’re always changing, shifting, and requiring different needs in different points in our life – food and nutrition are no different. Add-in sensitivities and issues - with a myriad of foods – and the game of life is always throwing us little curve-balls. I have been focused on other things like gluten, or sugars, or bla-bla-bla… that one of the core-problems has been the nickel hiding in plain sight! This is the current-new-again awareness that is becoming something I am paying attention to in my diet.

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I also, metaphorically, have spent some time dusting off the H. Pylori ‘book’ that I have been toting around most my life - but not listening to its screams from the underbelly! Because better, current, deeper research and studies are just now coming out – the world of getting a better understanding of this critter is in for a change! There are some beautiful amazing souls on this planet doing the fascinating work of research into ‘the little things’ – which we are going to find out… aren’t exactly ‘little’. Most of the population of this planet has got one or both of these issues (nickel/H. Pylori) – and they currently ‘lay dormant’ in our awareness. Maybe we do know about them but we don’t actually understand them.

H. Pylori has been around forever, it’s not unknown, and it’s been studied. Recently - it’s being really studied and getting some deeper-digging research done on it! So, even though it’s been around, we are aware of it, its effects on our bodies seem to be taken lightly. Maybe it’s an American thing. This country is in such denial about parasites, bacteria’s, viruses and what’s going on in ‘that department’ – everyone is doing themselves a disservice by ignoring the obvious! The H.P. - it’s known to be a disrupter, issue causer, and dis-ease maker and it sure likes metals! So do a lot of parasites - heavy metal is the name of the game. It, the H.P. and heavy metals, really should be one of the first things looked-for when we are getting our ‘health’ checked. But it’s not. And when I was tested (many years ago)… I’m still not sure why my H.P. levels (that were high at the time) were ‘bypassed’ and over-looked on my panel. Hmmm…

Now, the H. pylori is a l-o-n-g story that I will sum-up. Because I just want to get to the connection of the dots…

H. pylori is a family-bug. By that, I mean, it basically runs in families; and most (most) of humanity all has some level of this critter hanging out with them. The levels of intensity are varied, obviously. But it’s the actions of this critter that are quite fascinating, if not a bit scary. It’s a masquerader, a morpher, can hide and mask itself like no other! It is the Master! How else did we think this guy has been surviving for eons of time?!

Nickel and H. Pylori have a relationship that can cause a constant state of dysregulation, inflammation, and all kinds of issues (that will be unique to each of us). Does most this planet have a thing with H. Pylori? Yes. Does most the planet have a thing with nickel? Probably! This will unfold in the near future. It’s the sleeper sensitivity. (Just guessing – but I am probably not too far off).

It has been reported/mentioned that nickel allergy and/or sensitivity can occur due to trauma; like an accident, or even giving birth, or a blow to the head. Well, this is me. I fit all three of those. The H. Pylori runs in families… I am pretty certain – also ‘me’ (i.e.: my family dynamic). Heck, I have tested-proof that I have it in my body. The dots... are connecting...

Since learning this information and piecing together some of my physical aspect issues – nickel and H. Pylori – this will be on-going. But the so called ‘random’ information I was gathering, that came together for me; thus, causing the lightbulb to activate and turn on was/is pretty awesome and fantastic! Asking for help in the healing journey really can put you on your own unique crumb-trail and take you to the answers you seek! There just happens to be some moments and trails that tend to take longer than others! Apparently, for me and this one... a couple of decades!

It's true though: better late than never!

Thank you God, thank you Higher Self!

Love your guts!! <3 :-) *Pic/graphic courtesy of Pixabay