My February

Ahhh, the month of Love! Actually, for me, every month is a month of Love!

<3

And I love… that February decided to start having the warm sun show up! This was lovely! It really does lift the mood, put a spring in your step, bring joy… am I ready for spring? Yes!

We still have frozen tundra outside our door. The melt off is slow and steady; that’s okay (despite the Me that wants it all gone quick-fast and in a-hurry). We don’t want to have fast and furious run-off either. That would be a whole ‘nuther mess!

While I patiently wait for spring (and to see the ground again) it’s been a month (that actually started in January) of much needed self-care! I’ve been having session work done with a chiropractor and this has been pretty amazing. From dragging my feet (resisting) to go in the first place - to wondering why it took me so dang long… the therapy has been really good and I have been building this new relationship with my spine (and back).

The back injury pre-dates (car accident from my youth) all these heavy snow-shoveling days as of late. This winter and constant shoveling/removing snow brought my back to its knees! Who does this? Apparently we (hubby and I) do! It (deep winter) started in November and we just kept getting pummeled with snow! Feet and feet of it! But - it was the day of getting on the roof and getting it cleared - that finally broke me (again).

The rib-wrapping ache, stiffness and pain! This - was taking my breath away. Moving was tough, getting up or sitting down... did I literally break something? WTF?! This was getting unreal for me. Does my body scream at me when something is at its breaking point? Yes. Yes it does! Do I (occasionally but not always - I have gotten way-better!) throw a temper tantrum and resist going 'outside of myself' for help? Kind-of. Usually.

This pain and issue of my back seizing-up was un-doable by Me, for Me. No amount of (self) magnet therapy and cupping was going to lessen the deep radiating pain. I actually needed someone else to take-a-look. I cringe. I have always been a do-it-mySelf-er (for the most part); I grew up in that kind of environment. Doctors and other health practitioners were only utilized for the most extreme cases. And, yes, I have had a few extremes in my life where the health field was required. But, once again... only if I just couldn't seem to figure it out, or I needed something beyond my abilities, and/or the pain or dis-ease was getting unbearable!! This - was that.

I went, I did, I opened my 'Pandora's box' (for lack of a better term).

The pop and ‘crack’ needed to release the pain building-up in my thoracic-zone; as well as, get me over that plateau I was living on for years, if not decades, was so amazing! The 'pop' was so deep within my spine that it echoed through my entire body and soul! I laid there in this weird surreal shock at first. Because - did that just happen? Holy-shizz-bang... that just happened! My everything felt this releasing-joy within that split second. I didn't realize that I wanted to cry - until my drive home afterwards. Open the flood-gates! This girl just broke the dam of emotions, trauma, shock and suppressed/trapped feelings and miasmatic-goop!

I'm sure there are people out there that do this kind of chiropractic stuff all the time, it's not a big deal, they have been getting things adjusted for years - but to me: no. I don't. I also never did. Even from the moment of innate healing after my car accident that took me out (NDE), no therapies of any kind. Only the sheer will to want to heal and get-back-out-there! I had youth on my side. When you are a youngster - nothing slows you down; unless you are physically slowed down.

So, this loud hollow-sounding, echoing pop that sent all kinds of vibes through all levels and layers of me: amazing! This was huge!

Dang, am I ever thankful for just ‘doing it’! Getting past my fear of chiropractors and clearing out all those false stories keeping me in a fear-based thought about their modality! It seems like, for so long, they have been vilified. I understand why. But it wasn't helping my mind from thinking of neck-snapping visuals! Ugh!

I'm also not saying this guy is the future chiropractor for me, because I know there are better ones out there. But I go/do what I am guided - so that I can experience and then 'take notes'. For my first-ever time, and that he did have the skill set/experience to work my skeletal structure, thus resulting in this amazing can of worms to be opened for me to now process - I accept. With gratitude, I accept!

I had a couple of sessions with this chiro and each experience was deeper connection with my back/spine. I was also getting the gist that - I can handle this from here. Collecting the mental-notes, and feeling like a student while being 'worked on'; asking tons of questions (probably annoying him! LOL!) and just taking-in all what I needed to be learning there. I intuitively felt and knew - I was done here. I now have the knowing of where I can go if ever needed down the road; or not. The first experience has come and gone - but with the info gathered along with the experiences, I would most definitely try and find someone even better! Someone more in-tune with energetics, holism, and more connected in ways that are beyond just the physical body and its rudimentary functions. For core-structure facts and base-building/correcting abilities, he's got it. For connecting some dots outside of the physical, not so much. And that's okay. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to learn. And I learned that I've experienced 'this' - and am now taking that info for - in search of 'better'.

So, anyway...

In-between the appointments I was (and still am) staying absolutely committed to the success of doing all the damage-control that has been happening back there! All the years of: just doing my best (to the best of my abilities), I feel, actually has been paying off. There was some interesting validations I was receiving to/for my-Self. I truly am thankful and grateful for my younger self for getting on some of these healing/health paths and sticking with it!! Decades of Pilates along with strength training, food/nutrition and intuitive supplemental choices, energy working/healing of Self, meditation and connection to/with God/Source/Higher-Self. These, along with so much other stuff, I have just been intuitively doing - really have been keeping me out of hospital's and outside-systems 'care'. (I use the word care loosely; as I have fired just as many doctors as I have 'hired'. Ugh! What a broken system!) I've resorted-to and committed/gave consent - only 4 times, okay 5 - counting the initial car accident that hospitalized me for a couple days; that I have agreed upon the terms and conditions of doctor-'care'.

Birthing my 3 kiddos and later on... my thyroid issues/journey. If there are any others... hmmm, I would have to declare: sleep-mode and/or heavily blocked trauma!

Back to my... back.

I am on my next-level healing journey. Me and my spine... we're going places! :-) Deep healing spaces and places. I am very aware that the possibilities are endless! This year will be, most likely, an interesting one for me. Every year since 2012 has been interesting, for sure! Once on the spiritual/soul healing/repair path - it's all about being open and allowing, taking deeper looks at your Self; forgiving, loving, and nurturing/supportive while being gentle with your self as you go through... what ever 'it' is. It sounds sweet and innocent but it can be brutal! Brutally HONEST!

I have been getting whacked by the spiritual 2x4 for over a decade - are they getting easier? Some of them are soft hits; some not-so-much! It all depends on my miasmatic load! I am not 'perfect' here, I'm human, trying to figure out all-the-things. Does my cloudy-brain-thoughts take the wheel sometimes? Ya, and we go off-roading! I get tapped with that 2x4 to bring back my awareness to the task at hand... where I am supposed to BE! It's an interesting ride!

And we are ALL on it; right now! This ascending planet, and our ascending/descending spirit/soul bodies, are evolving. This is happening whether you are participating or not. But I will say - the more you are awake and aware... the more ease and grace can/will be in your life.

<3